Moments....Toby

Bear with me.  I have to find some more photos on my camera to include here, but there's an important story I feel the need to pour out.  I'll probably gush about all three of my kids and the role that hockey plays in their lives, but I'm going to start with my youngest son, Toby.  He is, after all, the biggest reason all of my kids started playing the game.  For now, I'm posting the photos I've collected to help tell the story, in no particular order.  I'll come back later to finish the story.

Here's a picture of a special moment for our whole family .  Looking back at this, my kids all look so small! Toby now wears the black jersey that Tucker is wearing in this photo, and the jerseys worn by Toby and Maxine don't fit either of them anymore.  We don't have many pictures of all of us together.

I loved this moment.  Along the way, I tried to take a picture of him inside the net each year.

Captain Toby! Chris Hepp is an incredible guy, and I think will someday be back to coach.  He was probably the best team captain the Lancers have ever had.  I'm so glad Toby got to spend a moment with him and has this image to cherish it forever.  I hope someday it reminds him of the character and leadership a hockey player needs to exhibit.

Toby and Maxine love each other very much, and don't have a lot of tender brother-sister moments.  I hope someday they look at this picture and see the same thing I do.

Toby spent almost the whole event skating with Drew, his favorite all-time player, and I have a lot of photos, but this is my favorite.  In fact, we had a shirt made for him with this picture on the front and "My Hero", with #28 on the back.  He always got a lot of complements from Lancer players when he wore it.  I love the fact that the two of them are facing forward, looking towards the future.  There an incredible bond there.

This whole day was an important moment for Toby, and letting the kids get the picture taken with the team made them feel like they were a part of it.  In Toby's heart, he always will be.  We still follow the careers of everyone on that team.

This picture was taken right after the championship.  It's one of those pictures worth a thousand words.  We feel privileged to have witnessed it.  Drew and his goalie, a brotherhood that will last forever.  I hope someday Toby understands why this picture is so important.  

The raising of the trophy! I wonder how many little kids solidified their love of the game from seeing this.

Toby hanging out with Danny Kristo, another favorite Lancer buddy.  Danny has boundless energy, just like Toby.

Toby was amazed with all the equipment in the locker room.  He loves working out!

Yeah, this probably wasn't the best thing to introduce Toby to, but he loved it!

Skating with the players, he wanted to know who wanted HIM to sign their jerseys! How cute!

Another year, he hung out with John Keeney, who wasn't a very good influence, as he kept telling Toby to skate up to other players and slap them on the behind.  Toby loved the attention, though, especially since JohnnyBoy was such a kid himself.

Costume contest at the Lancers, Toby wanted to be a knight, just like the Lancers, and he won! I love this moment! It was down to him and the ladybug girl, and he stepped forward and raised his shield to the crowd to cheers!

This was taken after one of Toby's first practices.  I love that special smile he has only when he's playing hockey!

Toby always takes the time to skate to the glass and give Mom a smile, wave, and thumbs up.  It's like he's checking in to let me know how happy he is, how much he thanks us for letting him play, and how much fun he's having.

Toby's first jersey number was 21.  My kids have always attached themselves to whichever player wears their same number.  Whitey was even more special, though.  Though Toby has a lot of favorite players over the years, Whitey is special because it is most like him that we see Toby when he's in action.  He seems to see the ice, sit back and wait patiently, and seize opportunity with fire and enthusiasm.  

Toby's not in this picture, but it was taken last year at the Hamilton Bulldogs kids club party.  See the player in the middle? I don't care what anyone says about Drew, he's awesome with the young fans and so gracious.  His infectious love of the game is in his eyes every time he's on the ice, and I am proud that he's one of Toby's heroes.

This is important.  The moment when hockey and God came together into Toby's life was huge.  I can't say enough how this gives him guidance and confidence, and how it bestows blessings upon us, Toby especially.

At the first FCA camp we went to, Coach Mike Kemp took my daughter aside and spent two minutes with her to make sure she mastered the hockey stop.  To this day, it's textbook.  All last season, I begged Toby's coaches to work with him to master his hockey stop.  He was forever sliding into people and knocking them down, skating away from the puck, because he didn't have the control the stop or change directions.  Soooooooooo, this past summer, I thanked Coach Kemp for what he did for Maxine, and humbly asked if he would do the same for my son.  He did.  From that point on, Toby changed, his hockey changed for the better, and our lives were once again blessed by another great.

Gary Steffes - he was a Cedar Rapids RoughRider, their enforcer, and went on to play for Ohio State, winning the Frozen Four his senior season there.  Then, he came to Omaha, on his way to tryouts for the Detroit RedWings, and met Toby.  This is one of the only people whose passions for hockey and God can match Toby's.  He let Toby hang out with him, hang on him, goof around with him, and just be a big kid.  That grin is almost always on Gary's face, and he has so much giddiness that lights up a room.  After that first summer camp, I did the usual thing in thanking the coaches, especially for putting up with Toby.  I love him like crazy, but I also know how aggravating he can be to guys who know how to coach hockey, but don't know how to deal with kids like Toby.  Gary told me something that amazed me, surprised me, and changed me.  It changed how I looked at my own son, and I will forever be grateful.  He told me it's awesome that Toby has the confidence to go off and do his own thing, that sometimes that's part of God's plan, and how brave it makes Toby. This awesome hockey player pointed out to me that sometimes we have to be strong enough to stand out from the crowd to be a leader, and that Toby, my son, has the holy spirit at work through him.  He suggested we let Toby be Toby and let it take him where God's path leads.  I thanked him graciously, though no words can describe the impact of that moment.

This is Toby with Gary at camp again the 2nd summer.   I don't think it's an accident, flaw, or coincidence that  the light from behind them is shining that way.  We check up on how Gary is doing from time to time.  He's now in his 2nd season with the Tulsa Oilers of the CHL and very active in FCA.   He's a great hockey player, but also a vessel for God's message to all of us.  If we honor Him, we will be rewarded.  I'm still learning to step back and let God guide Toby's path, trust Him to steer Toby right, and bless Toby and our family in our hockey journeys.  So far, things seem to be working out better and better.

Why we do it....

This was one of my first blogs. I was truly inspired that day. I think I should print this out and have it laminated so I can read it regularly when I need a reality check.

07 Dec 08 Sunday
Why We Do It

I was going to spend some time moping about the Lancers losing last night, getting some things off my chest. It was frustrating to listen to it, and I realized I just wanted to be there for the guys and let them know we are still behind them, no matter what. If nothing else, perhaps this was a wake-up call. Most of our players are young and inexperienced at this level. They need to step up their play, and last night was a hard way to learn that lesson.

But I was too tired last night and had to rush around to wash and repack hockey gear for the kids' tourney today. This was our first, and I had no idea what to expect. I'll start by saying how impressed I was with the Sidner. I had no idea Fremont had become a hockey mecca! Did you know the Huskers intramural team plays there? Youth hockey there? All the way up to high school level? I knew the Energy played there, but I figured it was an old barn of a place they used because it was open and convenient. My only complaint was that there wasn't a big enough space as a holding area, but so many locker rooms! This was really cool.

And now, the reason we do this. The kids had an awesome time and got a lot of playing time. It was worth missing practice. All the parents cheering for all the kids, both sides, mingling with other parents from other towns in it for the same reasons....we all just love hockey. The older players in the program came and cheered for our kids. They didn't have to do that, and I don't think anyone told them to. We felt so honored, and we wanted to honor them by staying and cheering for them, too. How cool is it to have someone you've never met calling out your child's name, encouraging them, hi-5ing them, congratulating them? Seeing their smiles all day as they did nothing but play hockey.....no score-keeping, no penalties, just loving being on the ice and doing one of the things they love the most.....

Tucker got to be goalie for the 2nd round of games. He was so excited! That was not our nervous and uncertain little boy anymore. He is now a young man. He was proud and thrilled to try something new, experience every bit of hockey in every way possible. He didn't hear the people calling his name, cheering him on, or see the high school kids right behind him who could have stayed in the hall or locker room. Instead, they were out there cheering for our kids. Our kids who are just starting something they started years ago. I'm sure they were reliving their early days in hockey and thinking about how these kids will fare as they move up. They were calling my son's name. Complimenting him. Cheering for him. What a proud moment. Now that is true sportsmanship and support of your program, and it all did bring a choked up tear to my eye. If anyone saw, I'm sure they knew why. I feel like I'm part of a secret club now.

I had other parents tell me things about my kids that even I didn't know. A lady I didn't even know was calling out Maxine's name. My daughter, cheered on by a stranger. Another telling me she skates well, asking if she is bothered at all being among all those boys. Nope, I said, she is in her element. One mother told me my son is the only reason he stayed with hockey because he offered him encouragement when he came on the ice for the first time. I had no idea.

I feel proud and full of gratitude. Thank you to all the people who put this day together, to all the coaches and other parents, to all the older players, to the strangers we shared a brotherhood with under one roof today. This is why we do it. We share a love of a game the makes us feel free and connected all at the same time.

So...........I have to come back to the Lancers, since I usually try to devote this blog to my thoughts and reflections about them. It is all about hockey and everything I said above. I wonder if the Lancers ever think about how lucky they are and why they do it. Sure, at this level, winning means a lot. Maybe we put too much emphasis on that for them. I don't know. But I hope that when they take the ice they think about all the same things I thought about today watching my kids play for fun. Do they play for fun? Do they hear the voices in the crowd? Is it still worth it, even if they do not win? It's all about heart. Lancers, listen to your heart. Remember why you do it. Remember. Put it into your game. Put it into support of your teammates. It's something you can take with you on the ice and take with you when you leave the ice. It never has to leave you. Isn't this the real reason we have trophies?

Here's what I tell my kids now every time they go on the ice, every time I send them off to school, every time I tuck them into bed: Have a great one. It's a secret code between them and me. Though the words are simple, there's a secret meaning behind them. It's why we do it.

Great skate!

Goalie Mom Poem

Over the next couple weeks, I'm going to repost some of my old blogs here, just to get started and put my thoughts out there in another format.  I'm starting with the Goalie Mom Poem.  I did not write it, but found it posted on my Goalie Moms Facebook group.  It may not be my words, but I feel every bit of it.


I'm sure you've seen her at a hockey game,
Although you may not know her name.
She seldom sits with her friends or the crowd
Who get so excited and yell so loud.
The rest of the teams they can give and take,
It's the goalie who always makes the mistake.
"Take him out" they holler "He's a sieve!!"
"He doesn't even deserve to live!!"
But when the contest is going the other way,
They have nothing but praise and good things to say.
"He's stopping them all. Isn't he great?"
"If he keeps this up, we'll be going to state!"
When overtime comes, she can no longer stay,
But goes to the lobby and starts to pray
And cautiously listens to hear a loud roar.
She then knows that one team have now made a score.
Her heart in her throat, she peeks at the fans.
They are joyful, screaming and clapping their hands.
With a sigh of relief, she know her boy's team has won,
So for now there won't be any criticizing her son.
She says a quiet "Thank you God" as she starts to the door.
Today's a happy ending, but she knows there'll be more
Times when the goalie doesn't come through.
There'll be days when she'll brush a tear from eye
And days when she'll want to break down and cry,
For the player with the almost impossible task.
Oh, how she loves that child from behind the mask.
Yes, I'm sure you've seen this lady at one time or another
'Cause she's a special breed, she's the goalie's mother.

Here I am!

Welcome to my blog, the season's about to begin! Be prepared for MASS HYSTERIA!